Humor

Ok, I'm serious this time. After one too many times slamming the freezer door closed and hoping it stayed closed, I'm going to start using things. I was hunting for some frozen tidbit and noticed, like an archeological dig, the freezer has strata. Like the line of dark debris round the world formed after the Chicxulub asteroid impact, there is a definite line of demarcation in the freezer. Before I swore to label everything and after. The mysterious before labeling stuff is getting long in the tooth because "label things in the freezer" was my 2016 New Years resolution.

Readers, let me tell you of my bee woes. One of my hives has been a regular telenovela.

Round about this time last year, we noticed one of our two hives was quiet … too quiet. It turned out as we feared. The whole colony had departed for greener pastures after a wet, cold winter. It was tragic inside the hive. I found several bars of bees frozen in place with a comb full of honey not that far away. I wasn't in the market for a new colony so it just sat there empty.

Mark Bittman, you're killing me. I made your Spaghetti and Meatballs with hope in my heart and I made it in 30 minutes! (times 2.5)

I completely understand your argument that mise-en-place is an overly fussy step for home cooks. The only time a home chef needs to have everything ready is for stir-fries where everything comes together rapidly. The preparation of the mise-en-place works well in a restaurant where a cook is moving all the time and has several different dishes going. If a restaurant chef has a moment after something has started, they better get going on the next order. If I prep everything ahead of time that means I'll have small six to ten minute breaks between recipe steps which sounds terribly annoying. I could either do a few six minutes chores and forget to stir the onions or I could prep along the way.

This past week, I spent four days making a cocktail.

If you saw the picture in Bon Appetit, you might drop everything and make it too. Its marbled beauty reminiscent of an Italian cathedral.... Oh sorry! Back to the cocktail.

This craziness started on Sunday with a special trip to our local 'Swapper Jacks' for a stout beer. I did not want a whole six pack because, for lord's sake, it's 90 degrees outside ... who drinks stout when it's that hot? Beer acquired.

Santa Feans recycle less than 10% of all possible materials that instead go to a landfill. When the national average for recycling is 34% why is the rate in eco-conscious Santa Fe county so low? Because recycling in Santa Fe is a pain in the ass. To illustrate, a friend created this flow chart for visiting relatives to explain what items could be recycled and what couldn't. At first I laughed, because recycling really is this ridiculously complicated in Santa Fe. Then I had a realization.

Food writers, I love you sometimes but when your recipes fail you totally bum me out and leave me with a bad dinner debacle.

For example, hey you Smitten Kitchen, your recipe produced the greasiest carrot cake I've ever eaten. It made EcoBaby's birthday kind of lame. I even cut back on the listed amount of oil! For Pete's sake woman! But oh boy, your mulled spice cranberry bars were a total winner. More of that, less of the oil.

To quote Ron Finley, "Let's Plant Some Sh!t"! Ron is a guerrilla gardner in South Central Los Angeles where he has put shovel to soil and redesigned his neighborhood by planting gardens.

“Gardening is the most therapeutic and defiant act you can do, especially in the inner city. Plus, you get strawberries.”

It's time to get off my cushy chair and grow some change in my own neighborhood.

More Info:

Riding in the heat of summer sometimes means 'embracing the sweat'. But, there are ways to reduce your exposure to record-breaking heat. Cycling early or later in the day, stay well hydrated, and slowing your pace will help you keep cooler. Wear well-ventilated, wicking clothes in light colors, and bring a change of clothes when bike commuting. Acclimatizing to heat will also help your comfort and performance as you bike through the summer.

It's a hard realization, but if you can't be honest with yourself...
I recently built a simple thermometer shield to protect an outdoor thermometer from direct sunlight and reflected heat. I reused a section of white PVC pipe to provide additional cover for the outdoor sensor. A pair of nesting birds found the pipe and decided to move in.

I’m afraid my love affair with Cook’s Illustrated might be coming to an end. Unfortunately, fussy babies and fussy recipes do not mix.

I’m home with the little one and I’m looking for food that will sustain us during this winter’s bitter cold and can be made with either a child in arms or during nap-time. Surely, chili completely fits the bill--hearty, warming, freezes well, can perk along on the stove. That’s how I usually think of chili but not so at Cook’s Illustrated.